At 24 years old, this young woman, who had been raised in a Mennonite home and saturated with the Word of God at every turn in church, school, reading material, etc prayed a prayer to God one day that changed her life forever, altho it would be another whole year til she would encounter an event that broke the heavens open to pour out light into her heart.
That woman was me. The prayer I prayed was this: "God, if you even exist, I need to know who you are and what you require of me." Imagine that, a girl brought up 'in the church' asking such a question? Obviously, I believed there was a God if I was praying to Him, but I do think that we all need to come to grips with that 'walking in faith' for ourselves for it ever to stick.
I kept asking, seeking, knocking. I kept wondering if I was going to go to heaven or hell when I died. I kept watching those close to me who had something I didn't have and I so desperately wanted it.
One day, my dear sister-in-law, who was newly born of Him herself, gave me some CD sermons preached by Zac Poonen. I had never heard of him in my life but I wanted to know the truth. If she said that this helped her, and she was changed, then I wanted to know what it was myself!
I had always been taught to be cautious of who I listen to or whose material I read. I actually believe this is true, and still employ that counsel today. That is what I 'heard in my ear' as I put the first sermon into the player that day. I wondered, how will I know that what I hear is true or not? But from the moment I heard him speak, the Holy Spirit witnessed to my heart that this was truth.
In about 3 CD's, I knew that I had never been converted. I was actually relieved to know the answer to my problems. I was convicted but I wasn't condemned. I know some people struggle with condemnation, and I did before I heard Zac explain who God is and what He requires of me. I did not wait to hear the rest of the sermons in that series (I think there were 9 altogether). I knelt down on that plum colored carpet in the single-wide house trailer we lived in on some of the best prairie land I have ever seen in MO, and I got my life aligned with God. I was radically converted, I feel looking back like I was sort of like Paul on the road to Damascus. A lightning bolt came and struck me and I KNEW that I had found the answer that my soul so long had craved to know.
In the years that have followed, I have listened to many of Zac Poonen's sermons. He has been used of God in that way to disciple me and instruct my on true brokenness, living in the fellowship of God, and observing all that Jesus taught. I have never been the same. I have learned so much and I am so delighted that God has answered the cry of my heart.
For 13 of those 16 years, we have lived within 5 hours of where Zac comes to preach in PA every summer. I have longed many times to go hear him in person and thank him for being instrumental in my life, but every year came and went, and I was disappointed but resigned to the will of God.
This year, I got an unexpected surprise. I casually mentioned that Zac would be preaching in a few weeks, not even thinking about going. A few days later, my darling Farmer came to me and said he'll take me to PA to hear Zac preach. I was so shocked and overjoyed.
So this past Friday afternoon, my Farmer and I left our children, who are old enough to stay home alone (circumstances had us decide that they would stay behind), and literally drove through 'deep waters' to get out of NY to go to the meetings, with flash floods like we have never seen in all our 30 plus years of living in NY.
The meetings were wonderful. I came home feeling refreshed in my soul. Lamar found some answers to deep soul searching he has been walking through, and I got to fulfill my 16 year dream of hearing Zac preach in person (He's from India), and shake his hand and tell him the story of God used him to rescue me from eternal death. His face glowed with joy as I told him the story of my conversion and how he helped me to know so much how to 'live in the presence of God'. He humbly said, "That is wonderful, sister! Now go keep doing that!"
I wanted to share this story on here to say that God's timing can be trusted. If you are his child, then he tailor makes your circumstances for you. There is nothing that you wait for that he is too late or too early to fulfill. I have learned this lesson over and over and over again in my short life of being his servant. I sometimes have to still remind myself of this when I am walking thru a circumstance where I think that something just HAS to change soon and I find myself feeling frustrated that it seems God is being a bit lax in doing his job.
The Lord is mighty to save. He will keep us always. Let us be faithful in walking in close fellowship with him every day that He gives us breath.
If you are interested in hearing any of Zac's preaching, he has over a thousand sermons on youtube alone, I think and also many articles, books and sermons on his church's website. I'll post links below.
www.cfcindia.com
