Walk A Mile In Their Shoes...

For as long as I can remember, my Grandma has

had this quote taped to her fridge door, just at eye level.

Thinking back on life now, I wonder what it was that

caused her to tape it there. Perhaps I'll ask her one day.

I thot of that quote today as I read a post that caused me to go

"Uh, there's more to people's stories than the reason you gave for

them not doing the thing you think eveyrone should be doing for their health, my friend"...

We do that, tho. Put people in boxes. Shaped by our own narrow thinking.

We say things like "It just an excuse that She says she doesn't have time
after taking care of  husband and children to help him with his bills
 by selling products from

home that would swell their bank account in no time"...
or
"She has a problem with her weight because
(fill in the blank) and (this) would fix it,
which may or may not be true in both cases,
and thousands of scenarios just like it. 

I sound a warning, my friends...Is that really fair? Do you even know

why that would look overwhelming to the woman who just turned you

down when you asked her if she wants to join your team
of wonderful salespersons?

Maybe she gave the husband and children as her reasons,

and I would say that perhaps that is "ALL" she can actually get accomplished

in a day's time...

Seriously...being a full time wife and mother is hard, hard work. It takes

real dedication to keep the house relatively clean, the family fed nutritious meals

that either required you to grow and preserve, or get out of the house to shop for...

then there's the homework or homeschooling, and the clothes to wash, sew, or buy...

besides all that, there are eternal souls in your care that will never die.

For many women this is a monumental task. 

Most women would look at the friend I mentioned above and say,

Well, good for you if you can do more than that. I don't wish to.

It would be too much of a distraction for me to run a home business,

besides the work I signed up for when I married and had children.

I do not write this post against women who have home businesses. 

If you can do that and help your husband out, go for it.

Proverbs 31 women do all kinds of things,

including buying and planting vineyards

(I believe culturally that passage means she actually hired

servants to plant and harvest her vineyard, to be brutally honest here).

And about the woman who has the weight issue you would love
to prove your product or way would be her lifesaver...
if you truly care, and found a way to share it, but she
wasn't really into it, let it go. Maybe she doesn't have the
money or the mental capacity just now to think about it.
Do you know that she may have PCOS
(look it up. It's real and it's hard!)
or some medicine that is preventing her weight loss,
no matter how much she wants to.
Perhaps down the road, she'll be ready,
and God will use you in her life,
but be patient and kind and please above all,
let's not be judgemental and holier-than-thou about it.

The point of my post is to say that we should be very careful how we

judge other people. Seriously, they may have a ministry you do not

even know about, including a ministry of prayer that takes TIME,

hiding them away in a prayer closet you do not see...

all the while you are judging them for not getting enough done

with their days.

It is so common for us to jump down someone else's throat
(or gossip about them or judge their situation) 

for something we do not understand...

like why they eat what they eat
(they bring their own food?! how rude! when if you took 

the time to learn about their life, you'd soon understand that

they honestly have a conscience against eating the rich foods

that are often served, or they have a serious food addiction/allergy/disease

they are healing from that rich food aggravates/slows down)

Or perhaps you can't figure out why they would not let their 

child have a sleepover ever. If you learned to know them,

you might find out that they feel it's better to be watchful and extra

cautious than to be as carefree about it as their friends are.

Or maybe you and your friends discuss why a woman doesn't

care to go to women's Bible studies...after all, what does she

do with her day?! Maybe she is busy in a deep time of personal growth,

or maybe she feels truly maxed out with her schedule and 

would rather have some time open instead of having every

spare moment crammed with planned activities, good as they may be.

Or maybe you cannot understand why someone is missing from Bible study

on a Wednesday evening. It's a good thing, and it's important...

but think about it. He's a farmer. Farmer's make hay when the sun shines.

They cannot make hay (or harvest corn!) when it rains.

This is his livelihood, the way he provides food and raiment for his family.

How about blessing him for taking his responsibilities seriously,

instead of idolizing collective Bible study?

What about having an opinion about someone's everyday choices
that have no eternal value? Do those things really need to be said?
Or are you simply a controlling person who cannot stand to leave
things unsaid if you feel your way is the best way?
What is in our hearts spills out. Jesus said as much.

Yes, this subject is a passion of mine.
I think it partly comes from living with
my dear Farmer for 20 years. He is the most
unassuming, gentle, 'benefit of the doubt' person
I have ever seen and I believe that he has
taught me alot about how to live this way...
and Jesus changed my heart, too because I
used to be a very easily critical person.

Let's be kind.

Let's not criticize.

Even if they would be doing something

wrong, it is much better to pray for them

and to appeal directly to them about

the need in their life

rather than despising them,

or criticizing them,

or gossiping about them to your friends.

PS
This in no way means that we never speak truth
into another person's life. I realize it's hard to cover
all the bases in one blog post.
This post is meant to focus on
being quick to respect,
and very slow to judge or criticize
based on our personal opinions.