Acquainted with Grief...

Grief. It is a strange thing indeed. I have never lost in death an aunt, uncle, cousin or parent. Three of my four grandparents are still living.

But I have known loss in ways that cut down deep in the soul. I have known the loss and confusion of broken relationships, neglected relationships, relationships destroyed by greed, hatred, selfish pride, and misunderstanding/difference of vision which touched one's identity not in Christ and splintered things to pieces. I have known other grief-causing things as well, although never grief that has meant my having to stand at the grave of a person close to me.

And in the months and  years that have made up my life, I have grieved, and I have pondered this strange emotion that sometimes makes no sense at all.

And then recently, a friend who has had to bury  her much-wanted, much-looked-forward-to baby girl, shared some things in a blog post about grief and it's strange comings and goings and its heart-searching questions of why am I still 'struggling' with this or 'am I not surrendered?' thoughts.

As I pondered that, it hit me:

JESUS

was a

Man of sorrows,

and 

acquainted 

with grief...

He fully knew the sting of rejection by friends and family, the heart ache of watching  people being torn apart and confused by the worship of religion versus the one, true God. He knew the loneliness of being misunderstood and falsely accused. Jesus knew what it feels like to be passionately in tune with God and yet have many around Him blindly reject that God or 'not get it' why He would choose to pray instead of fritter away the hours in partying. Jesus knew grief in levels we will never know. He went all the way to a cruel, cruel death at the hands of the very ones He came to free from their bondage. He was sentenced to death based on terrible lies by those people to whom He had ministered on a regular basis for 3 years, and who knew Him well from the carpenter shop and synagogue and community for 33 years. He knew the grief of being completely rejected by those who claimed to be His disciples but who were too cowardly to own up to it and either loudly denied Him or slunk into the shadows unnoticed by His enemies.

Not once do read of Jesus reacting rudely or selfishly to these hurts. Not once do we read of Him pouring out His woes to people. Not once do we read of Him neglecting to bless and encourage people because of His grief.

I stagger through my grief at times. I sometimes don't say things I should say and unfortunately, the reverse is also true. I sometimes don't help someone I should or I don't encourage because I am almost consumed by a grief that threatens to tear my soul to pieces and throw me to the wolves of discouragement for good. Much of this is internalized and not really projected onto people, but I humbly admit here that I am not completely perfect in my working through grief. 

In  pondering grief, I realize several things and I am greatly inspired to move forward in the Way of the Cross that leads Home:

~ Jesus was acquainted with grief. Since He was a tempted in all points such as we are and without sin, then it is very possible for me to walk in His footsteps, with His Life pulsing through me, and get it right.

~ I am convinced that His secret to serenity was the hours He spent alone with His Father. Wouldn't you like to know what all went on on the mountaintop at night while He wrestled with grief and sorrow in the presence of God as the rest of the world slept? I am fairly certain that this is how He could manage to live His days serenely, caring for the poor and the sick, teaching for hours to the crowds who pressed in around Him. I am pretty sure that this is what gave Him the calmness He needed and also the fire He had to rebuke the Pharisees and to call them on the carpet for their hypocrisy...and yet be kind and without sin.

~ Grief is a natural human emotion. Just like anger, joy, peace, and fear...they all are God-given and meant to be productively used in our lives. Unfortunately, they have been perverted by the enemy. There are those who say that grieving  is purely selfish and should be stomped down immediately. Others say that grief is natural and any expression of it should be allowed. I believe that grief is natural and normal and even a good way to cleanse the heart during sorrowful times of our lives. A person who names the name of Christ is not some alien who is not allowed to cry, feel sorrow or even struggle through grief. I think that being 'real' and allowing grief to be felt in the heart is good, and that as His child, He wants to hear from me, and know the thoughts of my heart.

~As a child of God, being changed by Jesus, I bring my grief to Him and with a heart surrendered to Him, I rest in His care. It is not mine to be angry, sinful and bitter. It is not mine to insist that my way be lived or understood by others. Even if what I present is godly and righteous and is kicked around, mocked, or scoffed at, it is not mine to sinfully react. Grieve at His feet in the quiet of the night? Yes. I will follow Jesus all the way.

Grief. It is part of life on earth. There are children whose parents died 'before their time'. There are orphans whose parents are still living. There are religious oppressors. There are false teachers leading away captive silly women. There are children growing up and rejecting parents. There are accidents leaving newly wed husbands without legs. There are uncles who passionately serve God and work tirelessly in His kingdom who suffer and die of horrible cancer. There are Grandmas who are widowed young and then have to see their adult child suffer of disease. There are churches split apart because of hypocrisy and focus on religion. There are churches losing out because they choose to let the world guide them. There is just grief on every side.

BUT...Jesus is the Leader in all things. Even in grief. I have been encouraged as I have looked at this subject and pondered it. What a friend we have in Jesus, ALL our sins and griefs to bear.

Man of Sorrows

by Philip P. Bliss

I noticed when I went to put this video clip 

on here, that Philip P Bliss wrote this song.

Do you know his story?

Just in case you never heard his story,

here it is.