It's Normal to Fight...

daylilies in the rain in my garden
photo credit: Angela Zimmerman



I have heard many times in the past few years the argument "All couples fight. It's normal to fight," usually in reference to how crazy it is to 'pretend' to never have arguments or fights or that it is a lie to say that it is normal in (the life of a Christian presenting this) for peace and harmony to reign. "After all," they say, "we are just human."

It always bothers me. I get the idea of this and I understand. Yes, humanly speaking it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a harmonious peace and love be the everyday normal. There is no way on earth, outside of Jesus Christ and the supernatural power He gives one who repents, that we can live this way. So yes. We are human. And we fight.

BUT...how about if we lay down our lives? Completely. Totally. How about if we choose to acknowledge God in all our ways? How about if we are buried with Him in death to rise to new life in Him with His nature alive and strong in us?

I fear that we water down the Gospel in ways such as this. And satan laughs.

Do we truly believe that it is possible to go through every single day with not an angry word, no rising of self against our husband/father/mother/brother/sister? If we don't believe that it is possible, and if we are ok with it being normal for petty quarrels, personal protection of 'my rights', and 'being myself' as far as it relates to toeing the line on my own likes/dislikes with no regard for another, we water down the Gospel. This is not God's plan.

God intends that we would be witnesses that Jesus lives. He intends that we would be completely freed from the bondage of sin. This means that in the true life of Christ, the one who stole will steal no more. The one who habitually lied will lie no more. And the one who consistently stood up against her authority will submit and respect him now.

We who are called to live extraordinary lives live such ordinary ones and how then is the Gospel preached? If we are saying that Jesus died to be the Redeemer of mankind and yet live with fighting and selfishness being the norm, what kind of a gospel is that?

How do I know that God intends for us to live like this? Consider these words from the Word of Life:

2 Cor. 2:14-17 (amplified)
"Thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumph (as trophies of Christ's victory) and thru us spreads and makes evident the fragrance and knowledge of God everywhere. 15 For we are the sweet fragrance of Christ (which exhales) unto God (discernible alike) among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To the latter, it is an aroma wafted from death to death (a fatal odor, the smell of doom); to the former it is an aroma from life to life (a vital fragrance; living and fresh). And who is qualified (fit and sufficient) for these things (who is able for such ministry? We?)? 17 For we are not, like so many (like so many hucksters make a trade of) peddling God's Word (shortchanging and adulterating the divine message); but like (men) of sincerity and the purest motive, as (commissioned and sent) by God, we speak (His message) in Christ (the Messiah), in the very sight and presence of God."

When I read that this morning, I was totally blessed! First of all, this passage confirms the Great Commission that Jesus left as the work we are to do here until He comes. We are to be His witnesses, going and preaching the Gospel of the kingdom to as many as believe. Then we are to disciple them, teaching them to observe all things that He commanded.

We can hardly teach those things if we are not fully immersed in them in our own lives, can we?! So if fighting is the norm in our households and if selfishness is the normal expression from my life, I need a serious "come to Jesus meeting"! Because He fully intends us to be the fragrance of Christ...the smell of life! Fighting and arguing and petty disagreements are certainly not the smell of life!

I am glad that God gave us the Holy Spirit to teach us through His Word what He planned for us. It is no joke or lie that He fully intends to free us from the bondage of living inside our own selfishness. Yes, we will always be tempted while here on earth because it is satan's time to try to get us over to his side of things. BUT...we have the power in Christ Jesus to be His trophies, to always be led in triumph.

And if we don't follow Him in triumph sometime? If we do sin, 1 John says we have an Advocate with the Father. He is gracious and merciful and meets our repentant prayers with forgiveness. Praise God for that. However, my attitude and heart position should be 'not to sin'.

But what I am trying to say today is this: if fighting and squabbling and non-Christlike actions are the NORM in my life, then I am not living the life God planned for me.



Because He planned that I would be fragrant and a trophy of triumph for Jesus.

So it should not be normal for a Christian to live a consistent unChristlike life.

In a baby Christian's life, it is more often the case to stumble then it should be as we grow in years of walking with Christ. It should be that we don't stay 'babes' all our lives, but grow up in Him, in consistent extraordinary life that is His.

THIS is the life I want to live. What about you? It takes a daily belief that He will make all things new just like He promised. And then not be surprised when He comes calling on us with His pruner's knife!

God bless you.
~Marcia