Gracious Words...

Some of us have more problems than others when it comes to letting our speech be gracious...yes, I have been guilty as charged of this many times in my short little life! The past few years, I have especially asked the Lord to grow me in gentleness, especially when dealing with fatigue (as I did for many years!) and the 'against the flesh' moments that come when raising children.

This morning, we ladies in the household were discussing with a visiting friend the differences between personalities in sisters and how to learn to blend them and appreciate each others differences. My daughters got to talking of their younger days when one would be feeling blue about life and the 'unfair treatment from Mom' while the other one (much more practical of mind and not as prone to emotional outbursts) would, in her sister's words, very practically shoot each 'unfair' complaint down one by one til there was nothing left to complain about. :-)

This discussion led to how some of us are more 'public' with our emotions than others and have trouble with 'flying off the handle' sooner than others. One of my daughters, who has been told different times that 'flying off the handle' is not acceptable for consistent expression in our home (praise God for victory both for her and for me as we grow in this area!), shared that she puzzles over where that expression came into being, and that in younger years she would try to envision herself in a frying pan circling round and round faster and faster til finally she flew off the handle. :-)

So I decided to 'google it' and found a fascinating bit of history for the expression:

"fly off the handle
-An Americanism that goes back to our pioneer days when axes were most often handmade, frontiersman whittling their own handles and attaching ax-heads that had been shipped from the industrialized East coast. Because they were often crudely fitted together, ax-heads were known to fly off the handle while being used, often resulting in injuries to the user or those near-by. The suddenness of an ax-head being flung off - and the resulting trouble it caused - naturally suggests a sudden, wild outburst of anger, the loss of self-control, or losing one's cool, all with a possible threat of harm. The expression is first recorded in John Neal's 1825 novel Brother Jonathan; or the New Englanders as off the handle. It was not recorded in its modern form, fly off the handle, until 1844 when it was used in one of the Canadian Thomas Haliburton's Sam Slick tales. The character of Sam Slick is a Yankee who expressed his often satirical views of human nature and national relations in a newspaper column in the Novascotian."

 

So, we concluded that just as an ax head flying off its handle would injure whoever was the unfortunate recipient of its destination, so our harsh and quick-tempered words can wound the heart of their target.

 

"Let the words of my mouth,

and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in Thy sight,

oh Lord,

my strength and my Redeemer."

I have always found it helpful to remind myself and my children

through Scripture

when we are struggling with character flaws and sins that

need Jesus. The verse above has been oft used in helping us in

our home to be mindful of the words that we speak,

and that before they are ever spoken, they are formed

from the thoughts we think.

 

Jesus said,

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

If I allow myself to consistently think selfishly,

then I will speak selfishly flavored words.

If I allow myself to be disciplined and think unselfish,

servant thoughts,

then those thoughts
 will be reflected in my speech.

 

I have needed to ask God again and again for

the spirit of awareness that helps me to be

alert to danger in this department of speech.

I find that when I am living with my priorities in the right order

for me and the tasks I have been given,

then I can remain calm and speak kindly to my family.

 

But when I am busy, doing a half dozen good things

but not in the right order,

then I get restless in my heart and troubled in my spirit

and flighty in action and words do not come gently.

 

If we are to be as Paul admonishes in Col. 4:6,

"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt,

 that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man,"

then we need to pray much, follow hard after the Master Teacher,

and be as James tells us in James 1:19:

"my beloved brethren,

let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

 

 

Our families need to know Jesus.

Do they hear Him in our speech?

 

I was blessed and challenged by the conversation
at my house this morning.

Thought I would share the challenge with you.

God bless.

~Marcia