Of Relationships...

Life is made up of twists and turns, mountain tops and valleys. The older I get, the more I see the reality of this. What seems to be the most difficult to push through in life is relationships with people. People the world over will tell you this. People disappoint, they encourage, they hurt, they bless, they lift up and they tear down. Sometimes they leave our house better than when they found it after a visit, and sometimes they leave you standing, speechless with shock over something they believe that you  never knew they would, and you wonder how in the world you knew them all these years and didn't know that...

This stuff is real and it is life. We will never truly be able to run to the Alps like Heidi's Grandfather did, not if we are following God's design for us. He didn't make us to be hermits alone on our alpine paradise. He made us to relate to fellow travelers in this journey we call life. He called us to be witnesses that Jesus lives and transforms lives today.

The only way I know of to be a witness that He changes lives today is to walk through those times of testing, those times of being called higher in something, choosing LIFE and letting ourselves go through the process of being changed from glory to glory.

"Expectations ruin relationships." I heard a godly mother say that one day recently and it stuck. "You can expect, but that doesn't mean it will happen (the thing you are expecting another to do/be)," she said. And I thought how true that is. I think that we expect people to be one thing and then they either disappoint us by not being for us what they were never called to be or they disappoint us by being to us what they were called to be, but it isn't what we were expecting. Sometimes disappointments over people's choices is not a bad thing and we do need to walk less closely (sometimes it happens by default if you are not on the same road) than we once did, but I'm not talking about that in this paragraph. I simply mean this as it relates to our own 'needs' and comforts, and how we often look to people to fulfill them instead of to God.

What I am learning from the dashed hopes and heart breaking 'ruined relationships' through the short years of my life (and I'll be learning more as the years roll by, I am sure!):

1. People are not God. Do not ever look to them to heal your hurt, make you whole, or be your everything.

2.People are created in His image and that puts us all on the same plane...with respect and love and blessing being mine to give because my Father calls me to do that; it has little to do with whether or not they deserve it. I deserve no mercy or grace but God graciously lavishes it upon me. How can I not pass it on to my fellow men?

3.There will not be true fellowship with everyone. Jesus said few will find the narrow way. So while it is disappointing how few there may be who truly are simply following Jesus and freely share hearts, that does not mean we need to be morose and sullen. Sure, the startling reality of it all may hit you sometime along the way and you will walk through a valley of mourning for a time, but get up in Jesus' name and be the person He called you to be.

4.People change. They may be hardened sinners for years, and then one day choose JESUS...or they may proclaim His name but stubbornly cling to other gods for a time as well. Just as you have walked through mountain tops and valleys and have been constantly changing and moving, allow others that privilege as well. Sure, there may be times you wish to shake some sense into them, or you stand forsaken when they leave your company for the company of those who do not wholly love God, but keep in mind...people change. They are not ours to control. Keep walking.

5.The best and most important thing you can do for a person is to care for their soul that will never die. In fact, that is what the Great Commission is all about. Sometimes that might mean helping a busy mama or it may mean taking the time to talk to your teenager when you might be tired and worn out at the end of the day. It is of utmost importance that we never lose sight of this Commission and that we remember that what we say and do with people always, always must be from this premise: that we are not here on earth to stay, we are just passing through.

6. Love much because you have been loved much. It isn't about you getting back. That isn't true love. Sometimes you might have to 'take a rest' in the desert alone with God to get your bearings and to figure stuff out, but never ever lose sight of the goal of living and loving like Jesus does. We can never truly get away from people, so even while in the desert, there are certain responsibilities that we have as children of the Light, to love those in our care. God will supply every need, no matter how maxed out we feel or how pulled apart we seem to be by the people in our lives.

These are some thoughts I've been pondering as I walk through the ever changing scenes of my own relationships. I have had some disappointments, to be sure and having just walked through a let down recently, I have had the privilege of seeing some of these things in a new and deeper way.

May the Lord Jesus find us living peaceably with all men as much as lies within us, when He comes to call us Home. Life isn't about me getting my own way in things. It is about me living His Life and serving as He served. Hard on the flesh, but so good for His glory.